To Jump, or not to Jump
by Queen-of-Sussness
Summary: Sirius scares Remus when he threatens to jump...a very real threat since he's standing on the edge...can Remus bring him back before it's too late?  RLSB, suicide themes.


Disclaimer: Yeah I don't own it, yadda-yadda-yadda…

Summary: Sirius scares Remus when he threatens to jump...a very real threat since he's standing at the edge...can Remus bring him back before its too late?

Warnings: This story is SBRL slash (which is SiriusRemus) and has suicide themes.

Author's note: This is only a one-shot that I wrote while waiting for a download to finish and it's therefore unbeta-ed, so please don't hurt me for any grammar or punctuation mistakes. I hope you like it!

To Jump, or not to Jump

"Sirius! Wait!"

Sirius ignored the plea and continued to run up the hallways and through secret corridors until he was sure that Remus had lost him. He slowed to a walk and chuckled without humour when he released where his feet had taken him.

_How ironic.

* * *

_Remus had tried to keep up with Sirius but he had eventually fallen behind. He'd rounded a corner to find an empty corridor with neither sight nor sound of Sirius' passing. He'd slumped to the floor and buried his head in his hands.

How could he be so stupid? He knew that Sirius' family was a touchy subject to talk about, but he'd brainlessly thought he deserved to know why Sirius had run away from home. Of course Sirius had lightly told the Marauders earlier that "they don't want me there and I don't want to be there: so I left."

But Remus had worried that there was another reason behind Sirius leaving his family home. The problem was when he'd first asked, Sirius had merely told him the same thing again, so he'd pushed him to think deeply about it. Sirius had closed up like a clam and run away from Remus who had stood shocked for a moment and then sped off after him. And now here he was, sitting in a deserted corridor with no idea where Sirius went.

_Why don't you go and look at the Marauders map. That will at least tell you if he's still in the grounds,_ said a voice in his head.

_Who the hell are you?_

He sensed an eye-roll. _I'm your conscience you knuckle-head, now go and find James! He's the one with the map!_

_Fine,_ and despite his better judgement that listening to voices in his head was _not_ a good idea, he went to Gryffindor Tower where he found James playing chess with Wormtail and asked him if he could borrow the map.

"Sure Moony, it's beside my bed. What do you need it for?"

"Sirius has run off and I need to find him," he said as he walked to the stairs, "Thanks Prongs," he called back over shoulder as he jumped up the stairs, taking two at a time.

"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good."

Remus scanned over the map, trying to find Sirius as quickly as possible. "Oh no…" Sirius was at the Astronomy Tower…sitting on the edge.

* * *

"To jump, or not to jump, that is the _only_ question," Sirius said quietly to himself as he gazed down at the ground far below. "I seriously doubt anyone would care if I jumped anyway. I mean, what am I? My family hates me and supports Voldemort. Their Death Eater blood runs in my veins. What if I turn out like them? I don't want to do that to my friends; especially Remus. Oh God, Remus! Why did you have to ask me about my reason for leaving? I love you! I do! But my family is not something I ever, _ever_, wanted to talk about!" Sirius slumped against the wall next to him. "I see no point any more." He pushed off the wall and stood on the edge. "If anyone has an objection to me marrying the ground, speak now or forever hold your peace." He said sarcastically before closing his eyes; just as a voice spoke from behind him.

"I object." Remus said quietly.

Sirius spun quickly and stared at Remus. Remus took a step forward.

"Don't come closer Remmy. Leave. I don't want you to see this." Sirius said in a defeated voice.

Remus stayed where he was but glared at Sirius. "What do you think your doing Sirius? Suicide isn't the answer. You know that."

"Do I? I'm sick of this life Moony! I've had enough!" Sirius yelled, clenched fists at his sides.

"Hmm, have you now…fine then. Jump. Show the world what you're made of. Prove to everyone that you follow through with your goals…and that you were so afraid of your problems, you made the ultimate escape; an escape you can't come back from. Show everyone how much of a _wimp_ you are. You know, I can't believe you. I thought you were strong, but it seems I was wrong. Jump Sirius. I dare you." Remus glared harder with tears in his eyes.

Sirius glanced down at the ground below.

"What are you waiting for Sirius? You never back down from a dare." Remus jumped forward and hauled Sirius onto his toes by the front of his shirt. "Do it! You said yourself that no-one cares about you! Do it!" Remus shook him slightly.

"Moony…I'm doing this so you –"

"Don't you _dare_ say this is about helping your friends! This is cowardice! Nothing more! The only reason to ever commit suicide is because you've _given up_ on your friends and life itself!" Remus let Sirius go and walked to the Tower door. "I'll see you in the Common Room." His tone left no room for argument.

As the door clicked quietly shut, Sirius turned and sat on the edge of the Tower again.

_Well that was interesting…but was it enough…

* * *

_

Remus stormed through the Common Room, ignoring James' questions and jumped up the stairs until he was sitting on the topmost spire of Gryffindor Tower.

_I hope I got through to him. I don't think I'll be able to survive if he jumps._

Remus sat on the Spire all night and watched the sun rise over the lake before he went back down to the Common Room.

Sirius was sprawled out fast asleep on the couch next to the fire. Remus lifted the corner of his mouth in a smirk and walked over to Sirius' sleeping form. He bent down and captured Sirius' lips in a gentle but passionate kiss. Sirius' eyes sprung open in surprise and then filled with warmth as he looked up at Remus.

"I guess your talking-to knocked some sense into me," he smiled sheepishly.

Remus smirked wider and kissed Sirius again before replying.

"I'm glad."

* * *

EAN: And there we have it, my first published FanFic ;) Drop me a line and tell me what you thought of it if you want. 


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